Skills for Effective Communication

Effective communication skill is vital for any relationship to thrive. It is imperative, as people, that we develop the ability to understand one another and, in doing so, cultivate deeper and more significant relationships. There are a number of factors that contribute to effective communication. As with any skill, these traits can be developed through concentration and practice. Here are some basic skills for effective communication to work on.
• Listen more than you talk. One of the most overlooked skills in effective communication is the ability to truly listen to what the other person is saying. All too often we’re so intent on getting out point across that we don’t take the time to digest what the other person is saying. Effective communication, first and foremost, is about understanding the other person’s position.
• Remain calm and collect your thoughts. Another key to effective communication is having a clear idea in your own mind what you want to achieve in the exchange with the other person. Whether that communication is written or verbal, in order to be effective one must pause, understand in your own mind exactly what you want to communicate, and process that communication appropriately.
• Take Time to Reflect. Whether the communication method is verbal or written, an important communication skill to cultivate is the patience to pause and reflect on what is being communicated. If you are the listener/reader make certain that what you are understanding is what is actually being spoken or written, not what you THINK is being communicated. (Remember the old saying about what happens when we ass-u-me!) If you are the speaker/writer make certain that you are saying or writing what you mean to say. This sounds pretty fundamental but how often have each of us been in situations where we are frustrated because what we are thinking in our minds is not what the other person is getting? Often the reason for this is because we are simply not saying/writing what we mean.
• Stay Humble. Remember, you don’t know all the answers to every question nor hold the only valid position on any issue. One of the primary purposes of human communication is inter-personal growth. There is seldom a situation where another person doesn’t have something they can contribute to our lives that we don’t already know. We short-change ourselves if we don’t take the opportunity to learn something from almost everyone.
• Recognize Areas of Commonality. Almost everyone can find something that they have in common with another person. That area of commonality might be an interest in horses or cars or an author or a hometown. There’s almost always something that we can find in common with someone else. This commonality often forms the basis for effective communication.
These are some basic effective communication skills that will apply in almost every situation. Whether you are talking to your spouse or a complete stranger in a new situation, applying these skills will stand you in good stead.
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